a view from here

there is a feeling inside, right here in my chest...lump in the throat;
looking out upon this world, and I see the things of life.
I see Humanity's waves of life...
fullness and happiness for some
deadly and dreadful for others
security and warmth for some
slavery and murder for others
assurance and confidence for some
doubt and fear for others

my struggle...in the middle of all of this
I look to be secure, happy, wise in universal knowledge

thoughts of God...making me look inward...to review where I am,
realizing regrets and missed opportunities
years of loneliness, laziness, incompetence and just getting by.

Just getting by with the small measure of knowledge
gleaned from books and ideas of other men.
sometimes glomming onto other men's philosophies
sometimes realizing things for myself

The desire is to be happy, secure, full, funny, well liked...
in full control of the Truth of the universe.
the desire of
understanding that Truth
of really knowing that Truth
at having sought and found.
Found, yet not been deceived by other men's ideas or lies...
by other men's manipulation
by other men's pride
by other men's faulty search for the truth.